Avani and Ravin 10/24/12
Here is the drawing and dictation of the middle of Avani and Ravin's story:
This is the transcript from Avani and Ravin’s second work session:
MINI LESSON
Review of what happens at
Story Plays Time using Anchor Chart
1)
Partners Think
and Talk 2) Partners Draw and Tell 3) Everyone Acts It Out
Content Teaching Point:
Stories have a beginning, middle, and end. (See Anchor Chart)
Today
we’ll work on writing the middle. The middle of a story is interesting when it
includes:
1)
A problem, and 2) Dialogue
Process Teaching Point: Having
a good plan before you start; Team work – Both partners drawing, both partners
talking
VIDEO OF PLANNING TALK
A – “Help me help me!”
R – The princess says, “Firefighter,
go over here! I’m in very bad trouble. I need somebody!” The person—the firefighter—came
dashing and dashing and dashing. They got—the princess got saved. The end.
A – [Listening and playing
with scarf.] Yeah but we can’t make the end yet.
R – Oh, that’s right, so… I
didn’t know. [A still playing with scarf, not contributing.] Yeah, we can’t say--
So the—So the—the fire fighters were—[A puts scarf around R’s neck]—can you
stop it?—the firefighters have— The princess says, “Help me fire fighters, I’m in
very bad trouble.” And the firefighters came running and running [A playing
with scarf, looking at the camera.] out of the fire and all the way there. [R
speaking in quiet voice, almost to himself] And the princess was saved.
[Teacher counting down] Yeah, that’s the story!
VIDEO OF DRAWING TALK
[2:30]
A – [Gets purple crayon] So.
So, remember the um—
R – Yeah, I’m gonna draw the firefighters
[gets green crayon then trades for red marker]
A – Oh, oh, I’ll draw the red
wind.
R – Ok
A – No, I’ll draw the truck
part, ok? I’ll draw it orange. [trades crayon for orange marker. Both R and A begin
drawing at same time, but A takes over page] Excuse me.
R – That’s a truck? That big?
[Watching A draw]
A – Yeah. And the windows
need to be a different color.
R – Just like that [draws a
little while A is switching colors]
A – [Returns to paper] Here
let me make the windows. {R stops drawing]. Wait, can I have the red.
R – Yeah. [Gives red marker
to A, picks up green marker.] Here’s some green. [A leaning across R and paper,
drawing while R watches.] They’re different—all the different kinds of—
A – Ok. [Finishes drawing and
stands up]
R – That’s the windows. This
looks like the—
A – Where’s the red cap?
R – Huh? [Beginning to draw
while A looks for cap]
A – You have the red cap.
R – [Narrating as he draws] Let
me draw one wheel, two wheels…
A – [Across the room] What
color do you need? We have all the colors. [“We need red.”]
R – [Stops drawing] Butt—Yeah,
red we have. [Teacher redirects to use a crayon rather than trade markers.]
They said to use a crayon.
A – [Refocused on drawing, taking
charge of paper again while R watches] The rest of the body’s in the [?] Some
of them just have that one, and then—[both quiet for a while, R adds in drawing
next to A, A switches colors then returns to paper] Can I have this for a
second? Hey! You’re coloring, you’re coloring their faces!
R – [Continues to draw
alongside A] That’s ok. This makes ‘em—they don’t, they don’t always have to do
the faces. Sometimes the windows get a little bit, like, a little bit, like,
like, dark.
A – ‘Cause they can’t see out
of the windows, but they can hear.
R – But some windows are a
little bit—some windows are a little bit, like, have a lot of like, cream on
the other side, that you can’t see it.
A – [Marker running into R’s
marker] Wait, excuse me. Excuse me Ravin. [Playfully] Excuse me Ravin. It’s
like, ‘Excuse me Ravin.’ [Stops drawing] That’s good for the windows.
R – [Stops drawing] Yeah,
that’s good for the windows.
A – [Back to drawing] The
tires…Stop, there we go, and then…hmmm.
R – [Back to drawing, then
stops] That’s the wheels and now—hmm, we need the, the fire man. Where should
we draw the fireman? [Standing back and assessing drawing] That’s what I said!
Don’t—
A – No, lets’s make the
mountain [begins to drawing] There’s so many mountains.
R – Yeah, and let’s draw the
princess on the mountains.
A – Lets make the mountains different
colors.
R – Yeah let’s trace them.
A – Ok, that’s good enough
for the windows. [Stops drawing]
R – [Begins drawing] This is
the princess.
A – [Watching R draw.] No,
she’s, she’s not happy.
R – But this time she is. Be—be—when
she’s getting in the hurricane she’ll be sad, but right now she’s happy because
she thinks the hurricane is not going to come on them. So she’s happy. [Drawing
quietly, concentrating. A watching.] Now, she’s on the mountain. She’s sitting
on the top. [Stops drawing, stands up.]
A – We need the co—we need
this to be red. [Looking for marker]
R – Yeah.
A – Red-a-licious. Let’s go. [Begins
coloring] Red-a-licious, c’mon, I’m doing red-a-licious right now.
R – Doing red-a-licious
A – Here’s your crayon. I’m
gonna mostly color over that.
R – [Both
coloring red together] Me too.
A –
No not over that. I’m gonna color over this. Let’s just color over the windows
too.
R –
Yeah.
A –
Cause usually you can’t really see out of the windows.
R – [Standing
back and watching, then joining in again.] Yeah.
A – We need different colors
for the fire truck too. Not this just—not these just, just this color. SO let’s
do some blue, so we know it’s a fire truck. [Talking while coloring. R
watching.] No let’s do all sorts of colors, but they’re, like, fire trucks.
Just red and blue. And yellow and green. Ok? And orange.
R – [Refocusing story] And now…
let’s get the fi—I’ll get the firemans coming all around the mountains. Let’s
draw the fireman.
A – No not yet.
R – [Drawing] I just want to
draw them. C’mon, let’s draw them.
A – No, that just be the sun.
No, that’s just—no, that’s her kitty! [R focused on drawing]
R – Ok, just make it.
A – You have to do other idea—the
other people’s ideas, too. [R focused on drawing]
R – I’m kind of making the
fireman…
A – Fine, then he’s—then he’s—Nooo…
R – Fireman! [stands up and
looks at drawing]
A – No! No, he’s a… princess.
Yeah, and he’s the king!
R – No, let’s make it, that’s
the—[begins drawing again]
A – No, he’s the king.
[Scribbling]
R – No, but I just need it to
be… the… fireman! He wants the water so he can save the princess from the big hurricane.
A – No, but we’re not at that
part yet. [Looking at teacher] So this has to be the king.
R – This has to—can this be—and
this is her—
T – Ravin and Avani, are you ready
to tell me your story? Ok, tell me what’s happening in the middle of your
story.
[10:00
Teacher comes to take dictation]
DICTATION
R – These are the firemans
trying to rescue—
A – No these, these, these
are the windows of the firemans. And then this is the princess’ wife.
R – Yeah, that’s—that’s the
friend.
T – Avani, you said ‘These
are the windows off…’
R – Of the fire truck.
A – And then, the princess
has a wife.
R – Yeah. But the wife doesn’t
get dead. The wife—
A – At the end, at the end,
she doesn’t get dead.
R – Yeah, at the end, the
father and all the other family save her.
T – Ok, can you save the end
for a second? We’re still in the middle. There’s a problem. What’s the problem?
A – She’s in a hurricane… the
princess.
R – Yeah, and the fighter
runs away. And her wi—her husband runs away. The wife gets dead. There’s a husband
and a wife. The husband gets saved because he runs away. And the wife gets saved.
T – Does anybody say
anything?
A – “Help me help me!”
R – Says the princess… at the
end. So we’re in the middle of the whole story.
A – The husband says, “Oh my
darling, Oh my darling.”
R – The wife says, “Help me,
help me.” And then she—and she was getting fire, so I’m gonna draw the fire on
her.
A – She had fire on her.
R – Yeah, so I’m putting the
fire on her. [Drawing, stands up, thinking] “Oh… my… dar…ling” [Sounding it out
to write? Goes back to drawing]
[13:30]
And here are my running notes as I was transcribing:
- Avani tells Ravin story can’t end (thinking about
mini-lesson/anchor chart? Which Ravin probably wasn’t paying muc attention
to) but doesn’t offer any suggestions for what else can happen, so Ravin
continues by repeating what he just said.
- Both R and A so eager to start drawing, they grab random crayons before
they have made a plan about what they are drawing, then switch colors when
they have a plan.
- Working very cooperatively together, each ok with what the other
is doing, despite minimal co-planning just before. Ravin leads on planning
talk but Avani leads on drawing. Ravin pays attention when Avani is
working but she doesn’t really pay attention to him, operates more
independently then checks out when he is talking or drawing. Later, both
drawing at same time and talking about joint drawing… takes some time to
warm up to collaboration.
- Windows – At first, Avani surprised and slightly unhappy that
Ravin colored over fire fighters’ faces but then it turned whole
conversation towards tinted windows.
- After drawing truck together with windows and wheels, Ravin wants
to draw fireman, even asks Avani first where is should go, but Avani wants
to draw mountains, so Ravin easily switches to mountains and princess.
- Avani watching Ravin draw and thinking about character and story,
not just the drawing “No she’s not happy.” Ravin builds from this to
explain why she is happy now but will be sad later. Character development,
changing feelings.
- Avani starts coloring over
things (red-a-licious, fire truck many colors) right after Ravin talks
about sad/happy princess. Is this because she’s not sure what to do next,
what’s happening in story?
- Ravin refocuses story from colors of truck to the plot – firemen coming.
First conflict: Avani doesn’t want him to draw fireman, but he stands his
ground and draws, she tries unsuccessfully to make it the sun or the
princesses kitty. Then wants fireman to be the king… is it because she
thinks Ravin is trying to write the ending and she wants to follow the
rules and stay in the middle of the story (“But we’re not at that part yet”)
or does she just want story to go in a different direction?
- Teacher interrupts character conflict before it has a solution. Ravin starts dictation right away with firemen, sticks with same idea from planning to drawing to dictation, but then characters in dictation change and are completely different from plan (wife and husband), made up on the spot. Confusing who is dead and who is saved.
Azucena and Destiny 10/25/12
Here is the drawing and dictation of the middle of Destiny and Azucena's story:
This is the transcript from Azucena and Destiny’s second work session:
MINI LESSON
Review of what happens at
Story Plays Time using Anchor Chart
1)
Partners Think
and Talk 2) Partners Draw and Tell 3) Everyone Acts It Out
Content Teaching Point:
Stories have a beginning, middle, and end. (See Anchor Chart)
Today
we’ll work on writing the middle. The middle of a story is interesting when it
includes:
1)
A problem, and 2) Dialogue
Process Teaching Point:
Having a good plan before you start; Team work – Both partners drawing, both
partners talking
VIDEO OF PLANNING TALK
A – We need to make the king,
right?—I mean the castle— [both A and D talking at once]
D – There’s a castle—and then
the boy saves—
A – And they get—at the
end—at the end—at the end, they are happy ever after.
D – and then the princess—the
queen—
A – And the shark saves him!—
D – No, no! And then the boy
says, “We’re walking and walking and…” then Weee. The person runs and [?] And
then that’s all of it, right?
A – Yeah, and then they live
happily ever after. That’s the end.
[1:00]
T – Does anyone want to share
one thing one of their characters is going to say? Give us a sneak preview?
Azucena? [Shakes head no, Destiny volunteers]
D – The guy was there and the
prince is gonna be the queen and then, and then, and then somebody came and he
said, and he said, “The princess is too young to be queen.”
T – Who’s going to say that?
D – The boy.
VIDEO OF DRAWING TALK
[3:30]
D
– [Gets started drawing right away, before A even sits down]
A
– I need to make the—
D
– That’s the castle and there’s the seat…
A
– I’ll draw—
D
– And the princess was gonna sit there.
A – I’ll draw the shark. I
want to draw the shark outside.
D – No, we don’t need some
shark.
A – No, we, um, the shark is
outside now. The shark is outside. [Begins to draw] The shark is just outside.
Here, we need to make some water, for the shark.
D – “Queeeen,” he said,
“Queeeeen.”
A – We need a shark—
D – No, we are going to make
something qu—with the queen, ok? [Pushing A out of the way]
A – Ok. [Stands back and watches]
D – And that’s the cloud—
[Pointing to A’s water drawing]
A – This is the princess,
right?
D – Yeah, and he said,
“Queeen” because—
A – [Watching] Is that the
queen?
D – [Drawing] –the prince is
going to be queen. I’ll draw some eyes.
A – That. What is that? Who
is that, the boy?
D – Yeah, the boy that’s
going to be—to give the queen to the princess.
A – But where’s the queen? I
want to draw the queen. [Begins drawing]
D –
[Watching, then pushes A out of the way and begins drawing] No, this is the
queen and here, here’s her momma. That’s her mom, right? And here, I’m gonna
draw the blue that [?]
A –
Yes [Tries to start drawing] Wait, wait, I can’t—
D –
This is the door [Pulling paper in front of her, concentrating on drawing]
A –
[Trying to go around other side to draw too] I can’t, I can’t—No, please, Destiny,
Destiny! Destiny, you’re not letting me do something! [A finally gets marker to
paper, D watching]
D –
Do the dot, yeah. [Telling A how to draw the door, watching A add second door
and knob.] No, not some eyes!
A –
It’s, it’s locked.
D –
[D drawing A watching] No, this is how you make the lock. This is how you make
the lock.
A –
It’s locked. It’s locked.
D –
[Still drawing, A still watching] Uh-huh, and then a boy camed.
A –
He can’t open the door, he comes in the secret passage—
D –
No, he—no he camed, and he said, “The princess is too young to be queen.” I
drew this hat. He said, “The princess is too young to be queen.” He said, “The
princess is too young to be queen.” Let me make it bigger. There we go, that’s
the queen. And this is the girl.
[6:00
Camera fell over, hard to hear]
A –
I want to make the other [?}
D –
No no no no, we don’t need big eyes…. [?] I made big eyes… [?] little eyes…
A –
So, we need the other lock, ok? That’s the other lock.
D –
And then here’s the plane.
A –
Can I have the blue?
D –
Do the plane, ok?
A –
No, no, I’m just gonna make the---
D –
I’m gonna make the stairs. Upstairs, upstairs, upstairs, upstairs. That’s
upstairs. And I’m gonna make the plane. The plane’s right here. And I’m gonna
make the wings of the plane. Planes do have wings. Planes have sometimes twelve
wings. And here’s someone driving on the plane. [? can’t hear audio]
D –
Azucena, can— No, no, no, we don’t need water. Just don’t make some sharks, ok?
A –
I drew a rainbow, too.
D –
No, I’m gonna make a rainbow.
A –
Because there’s two rainbows, remember. There’s two rainbows.
D –
It don’t has to be perfect, I’m just
trying my best.
A –
This has—It’s red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and indigo, and violet. But we
don’t have indigo.
D –
And yellow, I’m just having—and I used brown. I’m just trying my best. Purple’s
right here.
[11:00
Camera upright, Video back]
A –
It’s raining, it’s raining outside. It’s raining. [Concentrating on drawing
rain. D joins in.]
D – I will make the dots, ok?
A –
Ok. [still drawing]
D –
Beep, beep, beep [as she draws]
A –
What is that?
D –
Those are the dots, for it can rain.
A –
No, this is the rain. It’s blue. No, this is the rain, right here. It’s
falling.
D –
But we need to make a sun.
A –
No, I already make a sun right here.
D –
No, a beautiful sun.
A –
There’s two beautiful—
[12:00 Teacher comes to take
dictation]
DICTATION
D –
This is—
A –
This is—
D
– This is the queen, and he said, “Queen” and that’s the queen, and then the
boy comed and said, “The princess is too young to be queen.” And then the
princess—and then the boy, um, comed and saves her and goes right there. And
she has a mom and she, and she’s, and the princess is saying, “Where are we
going?” and then found her mom right there, standing. And then, and then, and
then the mom comed with her, and then she said, “You will go by yourself, with
the boy.” And then the boy comed with her and saved her. [A has been listening
to the story the whole time, but now starts drawing.] And he says, “We need to
go fast.”
T –
Destiny, let’s give Azucena a turn to talk. Then what happens?
A –
Um… [Stops drawing.] The sun blooms out because it was raining before. [D
begins drawing.] And a rainbow came out. Two rainbows. [Both A and D
concentrating on drawing.] And… um.
D –
There’s two suns.
A –
And…
T –
And what happens with the princess, when she goes with the boy?
A –
She finds a beautiful, a more beautiful castle.
T –
What does she say then?
A –
“Look at this beautiful—look at this beautiful house!”
[15:00]
And here are my running notes as I was transcribing:
- Planning for Azu is very excited and animated but is limited to castle
characters and happy ending, with shark saving princess. Destiny has a
clearer plan for the story, more serious in planning time.
- Destiny not sharing at all. Azu can’t get to drawing. Finally a small
bit of collaboration around the door and the lock and the boy coming
through the secret passage. Shows how important drawing is to shared
story-making.
- Rainbow as a fall-back after so much trouble working together. But
they even have to have two separate rainbows! And two kinds of rain, and
two suns… Parallel drawing on the same page.
- No clear problem in the story. Both girls focused on the solution,
saving the princess. From what? Azu wants shark to save her. Destiny wants boy to save her.
- Destiny definitely has clear sense of her story, but not so clear
in articulating it. Need to ask Destiny more about her thinking. Azu may
have a story in mind but doesn’t get to share it. Need to check in with
both about how to work together, share ideas, etc.
- Destiny tells most of the story during dictation. Questions during
dictation draw out more of the story from Azucena. What would Azu’s story
be like if she had a different partner? This was not a great pairing
decision.
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